


Watching

by corpuscle



Series: The Weight of a Look [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Time, M/M, this is literally three years in the making and it sucks im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:05:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9621482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corpuscle/pseuds/corpuscle
Summary: Taekwoon is finally starting to get used to the hustle and bustle of idol life. Now if only their cute maknae would stop staring at him...





	

**Author's Note:**

> HEY GUYS SO I PROMISED THIS THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO IM SORRY

Taekwoon thought he was settling into idol life rather nicely. Sure things were stressful, promotions were beyond tiring and he’d have killed someone for a couple more hours sleep each night, but his members were nice (albeit a little loud and annoying at times) and he was doing what he loved, so overall he considered it a good situation. This is what he wanted to do with his life, and he was enjoying it. There was just one problem, though, and his name was Han Sanghyuk. 

Taekwoon knew idol life came with little-to-no privacy. The sunbaenims always passed advice down to him when he was training, most commonly that _eyes were always watching_. A bit ominous, yes, but it was true. The life of an idol was a life in the spotlight, and Taekwoon was prepared to have to hide things about himself. Especially his preferences. Korea was still very much set in her old ways, and he doubted the public was ready for an openly-gay idol - especially a rookie. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would mean for VIXX if it was found out, so for everyone’s sake, he knew he had to keep it secret. 

At the beginning, things were fine, their first encounter back in predebut days having started Sanghyuk and himself off on… not the greatest of feet. The boy had seemed absolutely terrified of him in weeks to come which he honestly didn’t mind that much. He had other things to stress over like choreo and practices, and the kid might not have even been chosen for debut, so he didn’t need to worry over him. 

But then they debuted. But then they were successful. And slowly but surely, the maknae began to warm up to his scary hyung. That, as far as Taekwoon is concerned, is when things turned to shit. 

When Sanghyuk was scared of him, he left him alone to his own devices, but now that they were part of a group… He wasn’t even trying especially hard to make friends, he was just being so overwhelmingly casual. Nudging him at stupid jokes and inviting him in on his and Jaehwan’s antics. Taekwoon knew it was nobody’s _fault_ , but the stupid petty part of him still blamed Sanghyuk. And himself a little bit. Okay, a lot-a-bit. Sanghyuk was just _cute_ , and it didn’t help that he had taken up staring at Taekwoon.

But seriously, what was up with that kid and staring at him? He guessed it was pretty harmless, and he had to admit Sanghyuk was kind of adorable when his nose got all scrunched up and his tongue peeked out from between his pink lips when he thought Taekwoon didn’t know he was watching him dance. 

Taekwoon caught the low simmering in his gut for what it was - _attraction_ \- and almost immediately shut it down, leaving the main room in favor of one of the private practice rooms without a further glance at Sanghyuk. 

★☆

Taekwoon was in deep. But he was _not_ going to let himself give in. So the kid was adorable in kind of a lanky, still-growing, you-just-know-he’s-gonna-turn-out-a-heartthrob kind of a way. So what? 

The following week, Taekwoon tried to avoid the youngest as much as possible. Unsurprisingly, however, that turned out to be difficult. Who would have known trying not to run into one of the five people you share a broomcloset-sized dorm with would have been nigh impossible? Nevertheless, he did his best. He didn’t look at him when he didn’t have to, didn’t talk to him unless it was required for practice, and he definitely didn’t get the urge to pinch his cute little cheeks and defend him when Manager Hyung was reprimanding him for his vocals or choreo. 

When Sanghyuk and Jaehwan began to raise Cain in the dorm - something to do with ramyun and vodka, Taekwoon wasn’t sure - he just turned his music up louder and tried to block out his brain’s screaming that Sanghyuk’s mischief was absolutely adorable. He must have dozed off because when he opened his eyes next, Sanghyuk was on the floor on the other side of the room, sandwiched between Wonshik and Jaehwan’s shins with his back leaning against the front of the couch as they watched some action movie. Well, Wonshik and Jaehwan were watching the movie, Sanghyuk - _surprise, surprise_ \- was watching _him_. 

His face was screwed up in that look of confused concentration again, bottom lip tugged between his teeth as his brows knit together. It was the same look he got when he did his homework, and Taekwoon’s sleep-addled mind was ready to pounce. Sanghyuk was soft and cute and awkward, but at the same time lanky and ridged and he still had his teenage-muscle, all softly defined but in a way that you could tell he was going to grow into it all. He’d turned away as soon as Taekwoon’s eyes opened, but after a moment, he turned back - as if he couldn’t stop himself from watching his hyung - but now his cheeks and ears were tinged with a soft pink blush and he looked so much like a deer caught in headlights, eyes wide and panicking, that Taekwoon wanted to launch himself across the room and hold him and pet him and kiss him and tell him it would be okay, he wasn’t mad, he just couldn’t trust himself not to fuck things up for all six of them. 

But then he was dragged rudely out of his thoughts by Hakyeon calling from the bathroom that it was Taekwoon’s turn, voice clearly heard through Taekwoon’s earbuds that at some point during his impromptu nap must have either died or run out of music. Taekwoon blinked, waking slowly, then all at once, and realizing what he’d been thinking about their innocent maknae. 

He ran the water of his shower ice cold. 

★☆

When it began to happen in public, Taekwoon knew he had to do something about it. They were just at a hi-touch panel, answering questions and accepting small gifts from their Starlights. It was routine, and one of the better parts of the whole idol thing. But then somebody mentioned Sanghyuk doing aegyo. But then there was a group of Starlights shouting and encouraging Sanghyuk to do aegyo. But then Sanghyuk _did aegyo_.

And fuck if Taekwoon wasn’t weak.

★☆

He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t keep trying to deny his feelings - even if it was just a crush. A simple, stupid crush. A simple, stupid crush that could potentially ruin their careers if brought to light in the wrong way. He needed to confront Sanghyuk. He needed to apologize for behaving so oddly, so rudely. And he needed to put this crush behind him before it got out of hand. 

So, one night when the all the others were out of the dorm, when it was just himself and Sanghyuk, he decided to make his move. He gathered up his courage, marched up to the door of Sanghyuk and Wonshik’s shared bedroom,

And stood there for five minutes. 

Courage, it seemed, was a fickle and slippery thing, and it had wiggled its way right out of Taekwoon’s grasp. What if this was a bad idea? What if Sanghyuk laughed in his face? What if Sanghyuk thought he was gross and wanted to quit _VIXX_ because of him? How would he even start the conversation? This was a bad idea, of course this was a bad idea, what on earth had possessed him to think this was the right thing to do? 

Before Taekwoon could turn tail and run, however, the door opened and Sanghyuk walked right into his chest before stumbling backwards and bumping into the wall. 

“I - I’m sorry, hyung, I didn’t - ” but then he stopped, trailing off as he looked up at Taekwoon’s face. He didn’t look scared, exactly - startled, apprehensive, but not scared. Taekwoon wasn’t quite sure why, but he moved forward suddenly, startling even himself. He only stopped himself just a hair’s breadth away from Sanghyuk. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, eyes never leaving Sanghyuk’s, “I didn’t…” He wasn’t sure if he was apologizing more to Sanghyuk or himself.

Sanghyuk wasn’t looking at him, but staring into his chest. Almost like he was afraid to look up, afraid of what he would find there. Taekwoon didn’t want him to be afraid. 

As if on cue, Sanghyuk looked up. 

The look they shared was intense to say the least, but then Sanghyuk’s hands were on his chest and the weird warm feeling curling in the pit of Taekwoon’s gut was back. Sanghyuk took in a sharp breath before leaning up slightly to reach Taekwoon’s face, the elder’s hands coming up from bunching uselessly in the hem of his sweater to cup the sides of Sanghyuk’s face, and then they were kissing and it was everything Taekwoon had hoped it would be and more. It was fire, spreading immediately from the contact point of their lips to mingle with the pre-existing heat in his belly and the two curled in his chest and made him want more. He was like a starved man, _craving_. 

But he couldn’t take, couldn’t devour, not yet. There was something he had to do, something important, if he could just think straight through all the commotion. The realization and fear struck him like a bolt of lightning and he jumped, pushing Sanghyuk away and attempting to catch his own breath. 

“Are you okay with this?” he blurted without thinking, but it didn’t seem to matter as Sanghyuk appeared not to have heard him. “Hyuk-ah?” he tried again. 

It was Sanghyuk’s turn to jump, then, his eyes darting wildly for a second before he realized he had been spoken to and stuttered out a “Wh-what?”

“Are you sure you want this?” Taekwoon repeated, softer this time. He was prepared to elaborate, explain that Sanghyuk didn’t have to do anything he was uncomfortable with, but the younger beat him to the punch and nodded, breathing out a slurred, “y-yes,” as his hands slid down and around to the small of Taekwoon’s back. It was soft and it was stuttered, but he said it with such quiet conviction and his expression was so sure of himself and what he wanted that Taekwoon had to take him at his word. 

He leaned in more to deepen the kiss, swiping his tongue against Sanghyuk’s bottom lip. He opened his mouth almost immediately, allowing for Taekwoon to slip his tongue inside. Sanghyuk kissed like he did everything else, with little finesse and a lot of eagerness. It was obvious the younger boy didn’t have much experience and he willingly let Taekwoon take control of the kiss. He was also extremely _expressive_ , making little moans and whimpers into Taekwoon’s mouth and pulling his sweater around in balled-up fists. 

Taekwoon pulled back a moment to let them both catch their breath, leaving Sanghyuk panting and groping at more of his sweater. 

“Please, p-please, Taekwoon.” 

If Taekwoon had any chance at saying no before, it was officially gone when Sanghyuk started begging. His voice - god, he sounded so _wrecked_ , and Taekwoon had only kissed him. He was a weak man, he knew, but he wanted more. He wanted to make Sanghyuk feel good. He wanted to show him how much he’d been thinking about him. He wanted to hear more of those wanton, debauched noises.

He wanted. He wanted. He wanted. 

Taekwoon shook his head. 

“Not here, Hyuk-ah.” They couldn’t do this in a hallway. Ignoring the fact that the others could walk in and see everything, this needed to be special. Taekwoon needed to do this right. 

He reached around and groped for the doorknob, hands trembling with nerves and excitement, until he finally was able to push it open and let them both inside. He closed it behind them, locking it for good measure. There was a thump, and when he turned back, Sanghyuk was on the ground. He seemed to have tripped over his futon, but no matter. It would work. 

Taekwoon gave Sanghyuk a smile that he hoped would look reassuring, comforting, but getting a look at the maknae spread out before him, he felt like he just looked hungry. It was quite a sight. Sanghyuk, leaning back on his elbows, looking like he’d just run a marathon with how he was panting and how red he was in the face. He was staring at Taekwoon again, but not like before. No, now it was so much better. There was no concentration - as cute as that was, only pure want. 

He might have been a bit too long taking in Sanghyuk’s appearance as the younger’s face shifted to insecurity. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, nothing,” Taekwoon tried to assure, scooting closer to hover over him, “you’re just so cute, Hyuk-ah.” The blush covering Sanghyuk’s face grew darker, but Taekwoon didn’t notice as he’d already recaptured his lips in another kiss. He went slow, as slow as he could stand, trying to make this a good experience. But it was pitifully short before he was caught up in Sanghyuk’s noises again. Damn, he was so sensitive to everything. It was wonderful. 

Taekwoon slid his knee in between Sanghyuk’s muscular thighs. He was hard, from only kissing. Taekwoon began to shift his stance so his knee would rub against the bulge, then _oh_. Sanghyuk was making new noises, gasping, breathy noises as he ran his hands all over Taekwoon’s back, fingernails raking across taut muscle. 

Taekwoon felt drunk on it all. He shifted to begin running kisses along Sanghyuk’s incredible jawline, causing the boy’s head to fall back in what he could only assume was ecstasy. It was then he noticed how tense Sanghyuk was - his arms trembling with the effort of remaining at least somewhat upright. Taekwoon slid an arm around his back to support him, and when his lips neared the younger’s ears, he whispered, “relax.”

Sanghyuk, receptive as he was, melted almost immediately into his grip with a breathy noise. Taekwoon smirked and moved to focus his attention on Sanghyuk’s neck. His skin was warm and soft and Taekwoon could feel his heartbeat on his lips and tongue as he bit and sucked dark, dark marks into it. The room was hot, Sanghyuk clawing and pulling at his sweater just enough to expose his lower back to the slightly cooler air, so he decided it was time to lose it. He leaned back to pull it off and almost swore he heard Sanghyuk whimper. 

The gasp, though, he was sure of. As soon as he’d pulled off his sweater and exposed himself, Sanghyuk’s breath caught and he reached out a hand. But he didn’t touch. Almost, barely, so close Taekwoon could feel the heat off his fingertips, but not quite. Taekwoon studied the younger’s face. He was frowning.

“Do you want to keep going?” Taekwoon asked, concerned. Even if Sanghyuk had been sure before, there was a chance that now, as it became more real, as they got closer, he could have changed his mind, gotten second thoughts. Taekwoon needed him to be sure of this, needed to do this right. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t. He almost launched into a rambling minilecture about consent and how Sanghyuk by no means had to say yes just because they got this far when said boy tugged off his own shirt and threw it across the room. 

He landed hard back on his elbows, but looked up at Taekwoon so earnestly - flush spreading from his ears to his chest a beautiful pink that matched his nipples, lanky muscle on display, eyes blown wide. “Please,” he breathed, lips red and kiss-swollen, “Taekwoon…”

Taekwoon snapped, hands immediately going to undo Sanghyuk’s shorts and drag them down his ridiculously long legs. Then his arm was back securely around Sanghyuk’s waist and his lips were trailing down his chest to suck a nipple into his mouth. Taekwoon could get drunk on how sensitive Sanghyuk was, whimpering and wriggling at Taekwoon’s teeth just barely on him. He pulled off and glanced up at the younger to check his reaction, then pursed his lips and blew onto his wet skin, making Sanghyuk writhe even more. 

Fuck, he was enjoying this. A tad too much, in fact; his erection was pushing painfully against his jeans and he reluctantly pulled away to relieve some of the pressure by undoing them. He was back in an instant, though, pressing soft kisses down the barely-there abs that were beginning to define Sanghyuk’s torso. He tasted like sweat, and Taekwoon could hardly wait for more. He grabbed Sanghyuk’s thighs, strong, powerful thighs, and dragged him closer, before hooking his fingers under the elastic of his boxers and pulling them down. He went slow, teasingly slow, just to hear more of Sanghyuk’s desperate little noises. 

The younger’s cock sprung free and slapped wetly against his stomach, already hard to the point of looking painful and dripping precum freely. Taekwoon decided immediately that he needed a taste as soon as possible. But first, he needed to get his jeans off. There was no good way besides rolling onto his back and kicking, and he silently thanked the heavens that it wasn’t a total mood killer. 

It was no matter, though. Sanghyuk’s eyes were fixed to the sizeable bulge in Taekwoon’s own boxers with a mix between wonder and want, and it was enough to push the last of his control out of him. In an instant he was back between Sanghyuk’s legs with his hands on his thighs and his lips wrapped around the head of his cock. Sanghyuk’s back arched and the loud moan ripped from his chest that filled the room spurred Taekwoon on further. 

Sanghyuk’s fingers threaded in Taekwoon’s hair and he let out another stuttering moan of his hyung’s name. Fuck, it was just so good. Taekwoon would never get tired of hearing Sanghyuk’s raw, broken voice call out to him in pleasure. He gripped the base of Sanghyuk’s dick as he began to bob slowly, slowly, downwards, his other hand reaching up to pinch and twist at one of the maknae’s nipples, before pulling back almost completely off. Sanghyuk squirmed at the feeling of just almost teasing, and Taekwoon did it again and again and again until he actually pulled away. 

It was hard to tell if Sanghyuk was whining at the sudden lack of sensation or just from the situation as a whole. The near scream of bliss when Taekwoon leaned back down to lick a slow stripe back up the underside of Sanghyuk’s cock made him thankful they were alone in the dorm. Their maknae, it seemed, had a little problem keeping his voice down. Not that Taekwoon minded, of course. He drank in the moans and breathy whimpers as Sanghyuk squirmed and tugged harshly on Taekwoon’s hair. The fact that he was getting to do this, that he was being allowed to bring Sanghyuk to the brink like this, that he had the privilege of hearing what Sanghyuk sounded like in the throes of pleasure… He hadn’t realized how badly he’d wanted it. 

Taekwoon pulled back again and sucked leisurely on the head of Sanghyuk’s cock, gaze traveling up to meet the younger’s eyes as his hand slid down to stroke himself. The sudden pressure of gripping his own member after neglecting himself for so long had a small moan of his own rising up through his chest. Sanghyuk jerked and brought his bottom lip between his teeth at the vibrations, and Taekwoon would have smirked at the reaction had his mouth not been otherwise occupied. He moaned louder, stroking himself a little quicker and thumbing his tip as he mimicked the motions of his tongue. 

Somewhat suddenly and completely without warning, Sanghyuk’s voice went high, higher than before, and his hips bucked and thrust into the elder’s mouth. Taekwoon took a quick breath before sinking down as far as he could and swallowing around Sanghyuk’s cock. Sanghyuk’s hands gripped harder in his hair for a split second, then he stilled completely and, with a wail of Taekwoon’s name, he came down his throat. 

Taekwoon pulled back, slowly, slowly, gauging Sanghyuk’s reaction as he wiped the spit and cum from his lips. Sanghyuk’s eyes were half-lidded, his face flushed and chest heaving. He looked so debauched and thoroughly _wrecked_ and a heat built up in the pit of Taekwoon’s gut knowing that he was the one to do that to him. He squeezed his dick a little tighter as a thought came to his head, and before he realized it, he was inching closer to Sanghyuk on his knees, free hand by the maknae’s head to support himself as he loomed over him. Sanghyuk’s eyes stayed with Taekwoon’s, obediently maintaining contact, but it was how his breath hitched and he bit down on his bottom lip that really pushed Taekwoon over. His head threw back with a grunt and he finished himself on Sanghyuk’s chest. 

★☆

Taekwoon would have liked to say that things changed after that. But the words rang true and echoed in his head. _Eyes are always watching_. Ask anyone in the dorm and they would have told you that the only thing that was really different, was maybe their maknae was warming up to his scary hyung a little bit more. And Taekwoon supposed they were right. They would get back to the dorms after a hectic day of practices and recording and appearances, and if Sanghyuk sat next to Taekwoon during dinner or fell asleep on his shoulder in the middle of the latest action movie Jaehwan had rented, nobody said a word about it, let alone noticed. Hakyeon would have said he was just happy they were learning to get along as a team. 

But then, on the days when maybe their schedules didn’t align, the moments between rehearsals and choreo practices at the studio, the rare day they had no other obligations but to themselves, the short hours between finally falling asleep and having to wake up again for another hectic day, in the quiet moments alone it would seem that everything had changed. It became a language they shared. Sanghyuk’s face buried in Taekwoon’s neck with strong arms holding him close. A simple press of lips and hushed whisper of devotion. Fingers silently entwined and held where no one else could notice. Harsh pants and muted whines hidden behind doors and under blankets. 

It wasn’t perfect, nowhere near. But it was what they could do, and with Sanghyuk’s head resting heavy and comforting on Taekwoon’s shoulder, hands clasped together between them as they rode home in silence, Taekwoon knew he couldn’t possibly ask for anything more.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah the ending's shit im sorry lol  
> yell at me over @hyuk-tho.tumblr.com


End file.
